Thanks for saying that We have a follow up with the school 2 weeks after the holidays. I'll be watching with interest as we agreed the same last time but they forgot until I pressed for an update some time later. Same HOI.
I WhatsApped the mum I am/was friendly with and said school talked to me and on speaking with to Beebie it sounds like it was her son, apologising and asking if he's OK. I can see she's online quite a lot after reading the message but no reply. Given the reputation comments I'm super paranoid now that there's some other WhatsApp group all having a good bitch about my son
Hm. You’ve had lots of good advice but if I was the other mum I would be absolutely furious at the school for telling you it was her. I’ve never heard of that kind of indiscretion before! So maybe she’s just dealing with that part rather than angry at you.
Hm. You’ve had lots of good advice but if I was the other mum I would be absolutely furious at the school for telling you it was her. I’ve never heard of that kind of indiscretion before! So maybe she’s just dealing with that part rather than angry at you.
Ah ok! I’m still super suspicious of your school though. They don’t sound brilliant.
I’m so sorry you feel like everyone’s talking about you, that feels awful. Again, I’m sure the school should have better pastoral care than telling you about reputations and whatnot. Does he happen to go to a private school? This is a huge sweeping statement but I get the impression that their care over things like this is quite poor.
Yes a private school. He made up a song this morning about wanting to kill himself I think we may need professional help here, how would we access this without going through the school? GP?
I have spoken with the other two mums involved and cleared up a lot of what is going on. The one I have been pretty friendly with was fine and her husband had torn a strip off the HOI for not informing them when her son had banged his head in the tussle. I think the call I got from her was probably straight after that one. Anyway, this appears to have been a one off incident. The other is a boy who joined the school this year and Beebie has been giving him a hard time for quite a while. His mum was really appreciative of me getting in touch and had been under the impression that the school had been keeping me informed all along. We're meeting for a coffee next week to chat.
I’m so impressed with the way you’re tackling this head on Heebs, reaching out to the other families involved is a properly grown up move. I really hope your GP is of some help - what I would say is don’t try to minimise or gloss over the situation, services for children have massive waiting lists and it’s easy to be fobbed off with a parenting course.
I have now met with the mum of the other child, and got the full story from her perspective. It sounds upsetting and I am worried about Beebie. I'm also deeply unhappy with the school's handling of the entire situation, as is she. I spoke with the GP and we have an appointment tomorrow with a view to getting referred to CAMHS but he said it can take months if not years, and that the school tend to be able to get the child referred much more quickly. But I have no faith at all in the school to treat the situation with discretion or sensitivity. I am picking that situation up with them but it looks like nothing will happen quickly.
As an aside, I have wondered for some time whether Beebie may have ADHD. Reading the list of signs that a child may have this is like someone has watched him and written a list of his behaviours. That may or may not be related to the current situation. I had mentioned it to Beebie's dad previously but he refuses to consider it based on a conversation with his girlfriend who is a SEN teacher. I am going to pursue this with the GP to either confirm or set my mind at rest. Does anyone know if the ADHD is separate to the CAMHS referral, or do we have to wait for that?
ETA I asked for the CAMHS referral because of the talk of wanting to die, in case that wasn't clear.
Regards to ADHD, it’s well documented here what I went through with J. I had my concerns but was often fobbed off with him being young (August birthday so youngest in the English school year). He was diagnosed when he was just over 8 years old.
I’m no SEN expert but have found that issues really begin to show once children reach about 7 and the others take off and some get left behind in a variety of ways.
I hope you get the support you need from all directions.
Thanks both. I had forgotten about your struggles Cerise but I looked back and the description on your first post could have been written by me, every single word. I will definitely discuss this further tomorrow - I outlined my thoughts to the GP on the phone but Beebie will likely be relatively calm at our appointment as he tends to be when he's not in his comfort zone.
I agree about the age thing, I can’t remember when G’s autism diagnosis finally happened but he was probably about 8- 9 and the ADHD diagnosis was a year ago when he was 9. By then the issues were really quite clear and had been for a while, whereas it wasn’t at all clear when he was younger. He is also young in his year.
I hope everything’s okay Heebie, we have ongoing battles with the school but my most successful approach has been basically to tell them exactly how to deal with things and coach them through it. I’ve sent them PowerPoint presentations! It has made a huge difference and G is treated with a lot more understanding rather than blame these days. I’m not sure all of it is entirely genuine but as a means to an end it’s fine.
Diagnosis was the absolute making of him. His teachers all say what a model student he is and he’s recently been given the highest possible grades for maths and science.
I’ve tried PMing you but not sure it’s gone through - I was basically just saying I have a friend local to you/us who has
gone through something similar and got a private diagnosis if you want more info.
We have a follow up with the school 2 weeks after the holidays. I'll be watching with interest as we agreed the same last time but they forgot until I pressed for an update some time later. Same HOI.
