Covid-19

[Luce]

I feel the worst for teens and young adults, the years where your life should be free and fun and full of risks and falling in and out of love with unsuitable people. Being out in the world, making a right massive irresponsible hash of it.

God, absolutely this. I get so upset when I think of those 18 year olds in March 2020, looking forward to uni, jobs, relationships, results days etc.

When I think of the rites of passage that my eldest has not only missed but has no chance to recreate, I get so upset for him. It’s awful. I can see a big difference in my two children, equally, due to their 5 year age gap. Neither of them have ‘suffered’, they had as good a lockdown as anyone can manage. But what really, really concerns me about their development with all this is their sheer lack of hope or optimism about anything. Their complete lack of trust. That thing we’re all experiencing where you can’t trust yourself to look forward to anything - that is absolutely more damaging to a ‘plastic’ brain rather than a developed one. There will be horrendous outcomes from this, I imagine, in years to come.

[Lily]

How does that manifest itself Luce, if you don't mind me asking?

[Luce]

How does that manifest itself Luce, if you don't mind me asking?

I think in the same way it does with most adults; just not thriving. You’re not sad or actively depressed but you have no joy for the future either. Theo’s is more obvious whereas he gets cross if we talk about any potential holidays because he thinks it’s stupid and pointless. We’ve had a few instances where we’ve got all excited about stuff and it’s been cancelled literally as we’re packing or getting in the car. For F it is a bit heavier. He’s very much in a what is the point in trying, Covid ruins everything anyway. All stuff that I imagine most adults are feeling but without any of the perspective of adulthood/experience to get you through it.

[Lily]

I see: without the perspective that things won't always be that way, the despair must feel immense. It's bad enough for us grown ups!

[Mountain Goat]

I'm also wondering if it messes with your sense of security, the idea that someone bigger than you (parents, teachers, govt) is in charge and knows best and has it all in hand.

[sally maclennane]

I also think that as a child, you don't have much control of your life, and are very aware of that. As an adult, I could at least think about how I could improve a shit situation (ie throw money at it and obviously not all adults can even do that). So I had some semblance of control throughout the whole mess. Kids don't have that, or the perspective that "this too will pass".

[Luce]

I see: without the perspective that things won't always be that way, the despair must feel immense. It's bad enough for us grown ups!

I think also as a percentage of your life thing as well. So my youngest is 8 and doesn't really remember much before the pandemic. He remembers various bits and bobs but just not how life used to be. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad thing!

[Disco]

Lateral flow tests were available to order just now if anyone needs any get in quick!

[Edith Bacon]

Thank you, Dics!

[mischief]

I work in an IT dept in a university. My contract is that I go into the office 2 days a week but we all agreed not to go in until the 25th. There is a panic over January enrolment so all agile working has been suspended and we have all been told to go back onsite tomorrow

[Mountain Goat]

Thank you Dics! I actually got some.

[Ruby]

But what really, really concerns me about their development with all this is their sheer lack of hope or optimism about anything. Their complete lack of trust. That thing we’re all experiencing where you can’t trust yourself to look forward to anything - that is absolutely more damaging to a ‘plastic’ brain rather than a developed one. There will be horrendous outcomes from this, I imagine, in years to come.

I agree with this. I think it's a combination of things for the chaps - including what they've gleaned about Brexit/Trump/Johnson etc. They are both incredibly nihilistic and cynical. I mean, I am a bit like that so I can't just blame the pandemic. Getting either of them out of the house or interested in anything is difficult. And I 100% know that is quite typical for teenagers but it feels like something more. They are both acutely aware that they probably won't be able to buy a house and they are both quite apathetic about what they want to do for a living. They are constantly waiting for the next lockdown because that's what they've known - not going to school for weeks on end isn't a freak occurrence for them. It's like they think, "everything could change tomorrow so why bother?"

[Luce]

Nihilistic! That's the word I was looking for. Absolutely yes. And it should be their years of unrealistic optimism, pointless activism etc etc. And I absolutely know what you mean about it being something more. I have no experience of teenagers without a pandemic but it feels a bit...bleak. F has always had slight concentration issues but no real problems at school but his focus these days is out of the window. He's darkly happy, rather than happy-happy. I think the knock-on effects of this in 10 years will be a bit mental.

It is why I got cross when teens weren't being given jabs. They've essentially had their future fucked up in order to keep elderly/vulnerable people safe and then when it was their turn they weren't even offered the jab themselves. I realise the decision behind that is much more nuanced but it felt like they'd been forgotten because they're so 'resilient'. I think the resilience will run out.

[speedy gonzalez]

Mischief - how do you feel about that?
Don't know about the IT at our uni but at least some are working from home. The uni is having a major rebuild on one of it's buildings so to allow for the displaced staff there's still agile working . The majority of library assistants are doing two weeks in and two weeks at home unless they can't do that.
I'm a sole worker at a branch so constantly working on site at my branch.

[Starry]

I’ve seen the impact on my seven year old. She is by and large quite easy going but I can see the anxiety in her. She’s missed out on a lot of the fun stuff they’re supposed to do at that age. She started wetting the bed a few months into the pandemic as she became more aware of what was going on and while it’s improved considerably, its something we have to work on all the time. She isn’t the only one in her peer group that is showing signs of anxiety. It’s horrible for everyone.

[Pippedydeadeye]

Squeak’s just tested positive.

I’m currently trying to book us PCRs but I’ve genuinely lost the plot on what I’m supposed to be doing now. And I like to think as a reasonably intelligent person I should know what to do, but I don’t because the messaging is all messed up now so it’s no wonder everything is all fucked.

[Edith Bacon]

Oh, Pip! I hope she’s not suffering badly with it.

I don’t know the rules either, or when the changes are effective from.

[Texaco Shirley]

I just looked at the nhs Covid app and it contradicts itself on the self isolating rules so I don’t know how we’re supposed to keep up with anything.

[Squirrel]

Someone told me today that her daughter (aged about 6 or 7) had a friend round to play and the friend asked the little girl where her daddy was. She said he’s at work, and the friend asked “but where in the house is he?” She doesn’t remember a time / hasn’t been to play at friend’s houses enough to know that not all daddies work on a laptop at home.

[Squirrel]

Pip i hope she’s okay.